Many partners feel challenged by the concept of having a doula for their birth. Some of the common trains of thought behind this could be the notion that they replace the partner, or perhaps may add an element of formalness to what should be a very personal experience. Most of these misconceptions can be easily removed upon meeting a doula that is right for you and your partner. It is important to include your partner in the decision making process when choosing who the right doula is for you. Below are some common reasons why partners who have experienced the presence of a doula, are raving about it and have changed their tune.
1. Tap Out and Take A Break Dad
Many partners may go into a labour and birth experience excited, ready, and eager to take on the challenges or fatigue that will follow. However halfway in, it can really be an eye opener as to how long some labours can actually be. If you have a partner who is uneasy or anxious about birth, you may be required to be by her side constantly. This can wear on your energy, mood, and physical body quite quickly. Some labours are spent walking up and down the hospital hallways, some labours are fast, others very slow. A doula is like a partner in crime for you. Need a break? Need to eat? Go to the bathroom? We got your back. A doula is not just for the mother, but we are there for you too. We dont replace you, we enhance your experience of your birth and allow you to focus on the aspects of it that YOU want to focus on.
2. A Doula Knows
Just when you thought taking a childbirth class was all you needed to be ready for anything. The big day comes, your adrenalin is in high gear, and …..all the signs, facts and things to pay to attention to that you learned at class …are kinda hard to remember at this point. You are trying to focus on a million things, getting the car, helping your partner, timing contractions, possibly thinking about parking, thinking about labour comfort measures you can do to help. The thoughts that go through your mind are many, and circulate quickly at the onset of labour and birth. A doula is someone who is a calm presence for both mother and partner. We can help you organize those thoughts and allow you to focus on your partner, giving her the comfort and attention she needs.
3. A Doula Knows What To Ask.
During your labour, if you are in a hospital setting, you will be required to answer many questions from the moment you check in, to pain medication options, to labouring positions, and everything in between. It can be easy to feel rushed or pressured into making decisions that you are not sure about. A doula can help to ask the appropriate questions to help you and your partner make informed choices about the labour and birth. Whether you want more information regarding a certain procedure or having a clearer understanding of what options you have. A doula helps you form those decisions confidently.
4. A Doula keeps You Calm.
From strange blips on the heart monitor thingy to a nurse making a facial expression that has you worried. There are a million things that can trigger feelings of anxiety or concern. One of the doulas primary strengths is bringing an element of calmness. For your partner, the doula is there to comfort her, and help her relax and experience her labour in a receptive and calm way, effectively keeping you calm too. Whether its providing information to help you feel more knowlegable about something, or whether it’s her calming presence and relaxation techniques. Your doula is there to help.
5. A Doula Builds You Up
Ever seen a movie with a boxing match? The bell rings, the boxer takes a seat, a coach is there to motivate them,give them water, highlight what they did well, and what they can try next. Well take away the boxing gloves and thats what you have during a time your partner really needs you. Your partner is going through a massive physical, emotional, hormonal shift and needs you to be receptive to her needs, and wants. A doula will help you to notice these signals, and help you in any way possible to be the comfort and supporter that she needs. We are on team YOU!
These are just some of the ways a doula is also there for dads. Share this with your partners and consider contacting a doula today and seeing if they are a good fit for you. You wont be disappointed. In fact you’ll probably never have another baby without your doula.